The moving on was superly sucks...

like i said, i took an urgent leave on the 3rd April (Friday), having sleepless nights, but fucked waking up early, having no appetite to eat, or to do anything...
In fact just sitting down watching tv is unbearable...

It's like i've lost not only a bf, but a shoulder to cry on, my punching bag, my clown when i'm down, my eye-candy and my guardian angel.........

It SUCKS!

every single movements and minutes, it's just about him and y? Y?? WHY???

i noe i hav to get out frm my place, coz i cant let my grandma sees me crying like an idiot every minute and every seconds rite..

So, first thing, i have to keep myself busy...

Manage to get hold of a fren(a nice one, u noe who u are, thnx beb) to accompany me for half of my day, and eventually meet up my girls later at sempang bedok...
GOSh!! Only god noes how i miss dem all....
I'm fortunate to get u gerls, i'm truly blessed...

They did tell me to hate him, but i juz cant, coz i believe our separation is not based on hatred or him playing truant on me, and i believe that he suffer da same too... and every time, i feel sad, i would think of how he's doing... etc...etc... and it hurts me more.... like y is god so cruel to me and him....

But again, like wat zoob says, god is fair, he wont test you this much if he noes that u're weak... and every bad things happens comes wif a blessings...

Yeap...

guess it's true...

accepting the fact and facing the reality is hard....
but i'm moving on thou... i'm moving on......


and he's still be in my prayers....
and i misses him bad...........

Labels: break-ups, moving on

27th/28th March 2007-1st/2nd April 2009

Like they say..........
Every good things comes to an end...


It's kinda shocking experience for me,no, it IS a VERRY SHOCKING one!!
At first i tot it was just a joke..
Hell not?! we juz had our 2yrs makan session(yea normal, nothing wow! kinda thing which i'm so use to it laa..) on the 28th March...

Let me just rewind it a bit..
Have dinner on the 28th March, had a tiff on da 29th March, 30th and 31st he's working(so not meeting, but i'm so missing him coz we usually settle our stuffs asap), and eventually on his off day 1st April, he got some family thingy (which is like super rare for him to go out wif his parents), and poof on the 2nd April, he kept rejecting my calls...

Confused rite...

So i texted him, felling worried and confused and of coz angry at the same time. Wat da hell wrong wif him...

Eventually he txt back saying, well lemme me get my hp ya......
.........................
k here how it goes,
"I'm sorry... we have to go our separate ways... We cannot be together.... This is how fate and god show me... Take care ainul... Its been a great time & i thank you for that..."

how am i not DEVASTATED!!!

dere i am longing for his calls, to mit him up, and i got this?!

at that point of time, i really went blank, my hand shivers, i duno wheather i'm wailing, crying or cursing or all at once, coz there's isnt any tears at all... Confused of coarse..

He didn't want to mit up, die2 dun want to mit up, saying that his parents didnt want us to be together...

Manage to get him to call me thou,
both of us was crying in tears, he asked me to stay strong...
don't forget him, will let me now the reason when the time comes coz he vow not to let me noe bout it, he loves me so much that he didn't want me to suffer so he have to do the separation, he's sorry coz he have to break his promises, break my heart, and he says wat i'm suffering he's suffering the same.........

At that point of time,
i believe that watever he does is for our better, my own good and his and everybody i guess... i believe that he wont do stupid things unnecessarily.. We've gone thru so much shit together and we still manage to hold on, so i believe he should have a much better reason for this separation...

I cant think straight........
i eventually txt my boss for an urgent leave the next day....
i cried the whole fucking day...
kinda felt cheated, used, hopeless, felt like wat's wrong wif me other den being fat?? and everything juz fall over you.....

So this is how a heartbreak feels...
It's really painful... SUCKS!!!
and the best part, i didnt now wat's my wrong...
and in fact he wanted to MIA, left me hanging juz like dat...
SUPER SUCKS ryt!!!
FUCKED!!

Labels: break-ups, heartbreak, relationship sucks

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