That's what i put in my MSN tagline (or watever dey call it)
Life's is so fucking mess up now..
Had been living in fear, sadness, dissapointment for nearly 3 weeks now.
Momy still didnt noe bout me being "discontinued" so kinda living in a whole drama-mama kinda thing by going nowhere... I really duno how to disclose it to her..

and on TOP of all dat, my other half is always so so fucking damn bz wif his whole routine kinda thing which pissed me a whole lot of anger.. It's like as if i'm all ALONE, so wat's da point in having the other half which u can't rely on. Might as well i lead a SiNGLE life isn't it?


Well, things happen....
Happens for a reason....
But what's the reason,
i'm still searching for it...
Oh god please guide me..
is this a TEST for ENDURANCE,
or a SiGN to lost FAiTH in...
please guide me to the right way....

"aku hanya mampu berserah padaMU"

Labels: endurance, faith, test

Yea ppl,
that is wat i'm being told by my senior designer or watsover 3 weeks ago..
i was kinda dumbfounded for awhile, but of course, it took me some time to actually realise that i'm jobless again. (well, have to maintain kan. and ya la, i'm kinda slow, i admit).
It's really dissapointing as i'm really not prepare for anything like this YET.

Well, i do intend to actually quit from that place but not that soon though.
But well, things happen, and i have to accept it rite?

I was kinda feeling hopeless and all..
and started to think and ya, reviewing the progression of all my frens comparing dem to mine, to see actually how pathetic mine is.

Being a designer aint fucking easy especially if you were to work for a company, trust me.
seriously, i was kinda dissapointed in myself as i dun see any improvement watsoever or in another word stuffs or designs that i can keep for my portfolio. All is either previous work which i just have to edit to make it more presentable or finishing up my senior's work. And i dun take any pride in that, what's more to add it in my portfolio? No way..
So it's kinda sucks to actually go to a design firm asking to take you as their designer with that pathetic kinda work. They don't deserve these..

But well, i'm going back to events line...
and guess what i will be doing there...?
SALES!!
haha!
ya i noe, watever...
i try to make diz work...

Bless me!

Labels: designer, events, sales

Well, i'm still actually working on the skin for my blog...
Intended to actually have my own design on it, but very da leceh la...
one day la ehk...
so now, using ppl's design....

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