I duno wat i am NOW.........

total LOST....

i'm missing ma PASSiON....
ma LiFE............
ma LOVE.............

The world is soooo.....
Fair??

izit...??

Nobody's perfect, yea i noe....
but can i at least get sumthing near to perfect.......

I longed for sumone who can guide me,
(duniawi & ukhrawi)
entertaint me,
(ma badots when i'm down)
support me morally,
(especially wif ma arts & singing thingy going on)
ma confidante........
(when i'm really, really super down, when i nid sumone to hang on to, and to feel secured, like now....)
sumone whom u call "my partner in crime"...
(laugh, fight, criticize, cry... together!! pure joy!!)

*sigh*

But..........

i'm so tangled up!!
so frustrated....

*sigh*

no regrets thou......
juz purely confusion, so messed up, bloody tangled with tight knots...

yeah it's true LiFE needs sarifices.. (watsoever f*cking shit)

but....

*sigh*

i'm so frustrated wif maself....
No turning back thou....
i had to face it all alone.... all by maself....
LIKE A REAL MAN! (hahahaa!! wadda f*ck)

can u bear ur man going out having such FUN,
while u at home worrying sick like a dumb bimbo...?
So bloody hopeless and tight up wif stupid curfews and parents well overprotected shit!!
(yea cant stay up late to hav fun together wif him, & to think dat dere's another bitch hanging ard wif him.... can u bear such stuffs..?? izit ma fault? his fault? dat bicth fault? or it's juz FATE??!!)

i can''t go on wif life like diz,
worrying, pondering bout ma pathetic life...
which is neither here nor dere....
and always thinking bout so called not so wild but kinda wild to me, MAN..
PATHETIC!!
i nid ma FUN life back!
(guezz diz is da only way to pull me back on track, so i wont feel useless ard him or to think dat i'm da one who'll always hanging out wif his group of frenz-no issue here, i juz missed ma own fren... and to stop worrying bout minor2 stupid things, which some can actually turns into a major one)
and am missing it damn, damn badly....


y i'm worrying like a dumb bitch in da first place....
has ma LOVE grown dat much towards him..??
ShiT!
dat's da reason y i hate LOVE and love only feeling to be LOVED...
i wana be maself....
doing ma thing.....
i dun wana be sumone else juz bcoz i'm in LOVE wif a man....
(being appreciated or not, i still wana b wat i wana b, wat i've been DREAMING of wat i wana b...
i'm GONA BE WAT I WANA BE)

*sigh*

I wana take and swallow all diz up LIKE A REAL MAN!
spur diz on LIKE A REAL MAN!!
suck in all da tears and face it LIKE A REAL MAN!!

but am i strong enuff......
am i able to handle diz all alone.....

Oh LORD!!

Has ma LOVE grown dat so bloody much towards him...??

DAMN!!


i need guidance......

*sigh*

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